How I didn’t spend a penny at Christmas and still got presents for everyone. Whathaheck!?
Christmas shouldn’t be about spending money or who splashed more cash on who. It should be about family, togetherness and being nice to each other for one day… and all that schmultzy guff. I for one just go crazy for those pigs in blankets! Why do we have them just ONCE a year? We’re all idiots. If I’m PM someday (If? When!) my first policy will be ‘more pigs-in-blankets on plates’. So, is it possible to do your gift shopping and not empty your wallet? Read on and see how I took on Christmas spending and beat it. Or did I? You decide.
I got sacked. That’s right! Not the good sack, like Santa’s sack, no. The ACTUAL sack. And in London, getting sacked at any time – let alone Christmas-season – can be a bit like a death sentence, only nowhere near as bad. But in terms of affording costs, it’s tough. With a month to go I not only had to find a job but somehow get presents for all my family. Which, by the way is vast. My parents and uncle/aunts didn’t have X-factor or Big Brother to entertain them when they were young so they just busied themselves producing copious amounts of children instead.
So, I knew if I told them they wouldn’t get presents two things would happen:
1. They’d say “don’t worry, it doesn’t matter” which would be okay but for the fact they’re always supporting me with money and chocolate
2. I’d feel super guilty on Christmas morning when I’m opening their wicked/anti-climatic presents while they wonder why they spent so much hard earned dosh
Fast forward to Christmas and Boxing Day and I’m handing out numerous presents to my family like some derranged costumeless Santa. Not a penny spent. “But how?”, “What?”, “It’s impossible!”, I hear you cry. “Tell me now!”. All right, calm down! Well, here it is..
Freecycle is a community driven website where individuals post adverts offering or requesting items. Anything from a piano to a kettle or a pencil case to an Afghan Lama. The key difference between freecycle and somewhere like say gumtree is that everything is completely free. I posted an advert. (Click to enlarge).
(Yes all right, I forget my neice’s age!)
Of course there are many other good resources to help you save. Moneysavingexpert is fantastic and I can’t recommend subscribing to their newsletter highly enough, as well as keeping a close eye on the forums. This blog provides 8 tips to cutting costs at Christmas, including baking, good idea! I found this article detailing 50 ideas to help save money which lists the savings you could make under each – nice. In terms of making extra cash? I signed up to mystery shopping sites like Gapbuster and for focusgroup emails with companies like focusforce. I made £70 for playing Xbox for an hour yesterday! Booyah!
I was pragmatic about success. To recieve just a single thing I could pass off as a gift for someone would be enough. But it wasn’t long till I got some lovely responses!
“I will let you know if I find anything, what a great post by the way, you cheer me up!”
and:
“I was so touched by your message!”
Offers came in left right and centre. DVD’s, books, toys. The reaction was genuinely humbling! And I’m already fairly humble, so just imagine the “humbilisation” going on. I mean, wow, all these strangers giving up their stuff? Amazing when you think about it. A football shirt, perfume! These are good quality presents, right? Actually, I did get three broken Simpsons watches. Brand new, just broken.
How did it work? How do you find them? Answers, now!
So, I’d pop over to their house and say hello, usually not more than a short walk away. I could have cast the net London-wide but thought the money I’d have to spend on fares would contradict the whole idea, so I only posted to freecycle groups for nearby boroughs. Everyone I met were friendly and helpful. Fortunately none of them were killer psychos which would have put a dampner on things – and fortunately for them, I’m not a killer psycho either, so it all went well. Lucky really.
Aren’t the items just all old crappy junk they’re throwing out?
I made sure I specified new-ish things, or at least in good condition and tried to ensure a decent standard. For example, I recieved a Star Wars lightsaber (thanks Melanie!) but it had some damage to the handle so I decided not to give to my nephew in the end. Plus, I wanted it.
Who’s Responsible?
Big thanks to Nicola and her Chelsea fan (wahay!) boyfriend, lovely comedian Sarah Bennetto who welcomed me in for a Bailey’s as she and her housemates including the stand-up Tom Bell (neither of whom I’d heard of, but now like!) made chutney, Gillian and her thoughtful daughter, Freya (whose walls and hats I complimented) and Heather – who offered me a Hookah pipe but I couldn’t get to Fulham to pick it up. Thanks to anyone else I missed out!
The Result
Come Christmas eve, I had all the gifts wrapped and ready:
Mum – Home made Chocolates, Novels, Mamma Mia on DVD
Brother Andy - Givenchy Cologne
Brother Steve – Chelsea Away Shirt – he doesn’t even like Chelsea, or football, but it’s a size ‘L’ so… perfect!
Sister Joanne - A banksy art book
Sister-in-law Rachel – Lemon body balm
Nephew-in-law Jacob – Mars Rugby Ball, Simpsons watch, Simpsons stress ball – he doesn’t like Rugby and he’s never stressed
Neice Charlotte – Simpsons watch, Simpsons straws, Avril Lavigne album, stickers, Necklaces
Cousin Dave – Simpsons watch
How did they react? Angrily..?
Well, I didn’t tell them where they’d come from. This blog is the first they’ll have heard of it. So, at the time, pretty puzzled really! They all thought I had no money. The fact they had anything to open was unexpected. Andy knew from the start so he did his best not to laugh when my older brother Steve desperately interrogated me for answers. I think he suspected I had become a drug running, mega-rent-boy burglar… or something. All in all, I’d say it went well.
I mean, every year it happens – we recieve things we don’t want and end up taking them back, right? Or we have to hide disappointment, like at a new flannel or a DVD you already own. Difference is – it’s no biggie this year cause it was all free!
You hear that family? If you like them, wonderful! If you dislike my presents, it’s okay. Steve, don’t feel guilty if you only end up wearing that Chelsea shirt to bed or to mop up cat wee. Mum, you don’t have to watch Mamma Mia if you don’t want to, I heard it’s a bit awful anyway. Jacob, it’s okay to be apathetic about Rugby, it’s hugely inferior to football. Andy… well that cologne was pretty nice actually so, yeah, DO use that.
I don’t feel proud exactly, I would have liked to be able to get everyone awesome presents, but it just wasn’t gonna happen. Ok, I could have maybe afforded a few bits and pieces but they would have been naff stuff like socks or bargain bin CDs of Daniel O’Donnell. This way, it’s a challenge. Plus I have an excuse for not getting people what they want. In fact! I submit that for Christmas we should stop worrying about spending. Don’t just buy thing’s because we think have to, or will feel guilty otherwise. No pressure. No guilt. Just pigs-in-blankets for everyone!
If you still can’t decide whether I’ve won or lost, then maybe my neice can help. I love this:
Love it!! Well done Mr Fletcher, you did well, very very well!!
I always thought you were Jewish…
Love it Bob. Bloody love it. You so opened a can of whoop ass on christmas.
Hilarious. Again. The Ad in freecycle…. couldn’t stop laughing. And the best picture of Dave ever taken. Going from strength to strength.
I saw your mail on the freecycle page and was wracking my brain trying to think what to give, in the end I am sorry I didn’t help you out but I am amazed by what you managed to achieve in such a short space of time and I absolutely love this website – to which I am going to mail to all my friends xxx
Huge congratulations for getting inventive and not giving up even though there was this huge rock in front of you and your vision.
Big god bless from me xxx
Hello Bob, I love this, its a good blog, I will be back to see what happens next.
Freecycle is great.
Peace
HaHa love it I’m going to try it next year who needs new presents anyway x
great stuff! hilarious too……..do u want any more murder mystery books? I have about 8 thats going to the charity shop!
This has just made my day! What a result. Think you should be a comedian
A bargain CD of Daniel O’Donnell ? ? ? I’d give my eyeteeth (?) for some of those. We love him in the USA.
Great idea.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Robert Fletcher and Robert Fletcher, Robin Hood. Robin Hood said: RT @bobbyman: Read it and weep Santa. You got Bobbed! http://bobversus.com/?p=256#more-256 [...]
Bob.
Now it all makes sense…
Thanks anyway for the Chelsea away shirt.
Steve
PS Did you Take That ‘The Circus’ over Christmas – AWESOME x
PPS Why is this copyright 2008?
Just gone through your blog and found it awesome. Thanks for the laughs. It made my day. keep up the good work.
I finally read/watched it. very good. I might scavenge all my friends/family’s presents from now on.
[...] eat pancakes more. It goes in the pigs-in-blankets-at-Christmas thing which I talked about in my Versus Christmas blog. I know they’re for special occassions and so eating them more regularly may diminish [...]
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now. Keep it up!
And according to this article, I totally agree with your opinion, but only this time!
I didn’t understand the concluding part of your article, could you please explain it more?
[...] idea came about when Andy noticed that whilst Christmas has oodles of pop songs in tribute to it, annual fights to be the “Christmas number [...]