Cat’s what I call News

Bit of a mental week. I broke the ‘Woman Puts Cat in Wheelie Bin’ story to The Sun and The Daily Mail. It went global.

Here’s the story.

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Hello Comedy

Bonnie Scotland. That’s right, that place where they wear skirts. Me and comedian Spencer Owen went up to Edinburgh to watch some funny ha ha. My challenge? To scout out some good new acts!

Have a look-see what we got up to.

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Water water everywhere? Sort of.

As I type, my house is waterless. A few hours ago an enormous water main at the end of my road burst in two places rendering 170 houses – included mine – without water.

I need a shower and a wee. I also have a sudden craving to drink, like, a pint of water. Mmmm water. What do I do? Will I let it beat me? Shall I let Thames Valley rule my life? Can H2O beat Bob Fletcher? Can it bollocks!

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Can You Read Minds?

I often do this mind-reading trick on people (normally fit girls) where I ask them to think of a vegetable then guess what it is. It works 66% of the time and it’s sensational when it does. But the rest of the time it’s like…”no, you’re just…crap”.

Of course I’m not psychic and I don’t think anyone is. It’s all about reading behaviour and using some crafty tricks. Surely with those skills I can beat 3 of the best young comedians performing at Edinburgh this year at mind reading? Referee’d by the renown mind-reader Chris Cox, who will come out on top?

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The Third Dimenson

The resurgence in 3D movies kicked off a couple of years ago when Avatar swept up at the Oscars but for some reason I’ve not been arsed to go see any. But when I heard Toy Story 3 was out… well, that changed everything!

In this blog I chart my first ever foray into 3D cinema and decide whether it’s all it’s cracked up to be or just turd burgers.

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Hat’s off to you

Not everyone can wear hats. Actually, that’s not true. EVERYONE can wear hats. Providing you have a head.

Maybe the elephant man couldn’t wear a hat (a regular hat I mean) but I’m sure he could have put a tesco bag on and called it a hat… who would object? He’s the elephant man. Give him a break! His head’s all warped and weird, the last thing he needs is you telling him what is or isn’t a hat.

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I direct my first ever music video

Say hello to The Trippers! They came looking for an awesomely talented prodigal music video director… they were too expensive, so they asked me.

What a challenge. An actual band! Could I create the next ‘Thriller’ or ‘Telephone’ or would I produce some complete garbage because I have no idea how to do this sort of thing? Find out.

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Happy Father’s Day!

In true World Cup spirit I take on my dad in a Penalty Shootout for Father’s Day.

I’ve not posted for a while so here’s a must-see special edition. Half filmed in London Arsenal, half back in Coventry. Witness Fletcher junior take on big daddy Fletch in the greatest test of nerves and pressure known to mankind! This. Is. Epic. Neither of us are gifted footballers, but does that count? It probably does. We’ll see…

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Lush Flush

Before you think it, no I’m not challenging a toilet literally. Ours is broken so I’m going to fix it. But I have no idea how to do this – so it will be tough, tears might be shed, lives may be lost, I could drown in it. Imagine drowning in a toilet? That would be a really humiliating. Hope that doesn’t happen.

This is a real rite-of-passage exercise so it’s a big deal. Will the toilet defeat me? Or will I defeat it? Or will neither of us be defeated.

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For fag’s sake!

This week I’m focussing on smoking cigarettes. They’ve always been a bit of a mystery to me so I thought I’d try and find some answers. Though smoking isn’t good for your health, does it’s coolness outweight it’s unhealthiness? Maybe. I’m arguing against the facts!… sort of

Don’t worry, I’m not trying to get you to quit. I don’t care. I’m at peace with your smoke. Just watch and read. Inhale my wordy goodness.

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Fancy a cuppa?

Today, I take on the most infamous viral internet clip known to mankind. It’s grotesque, it’s explicitly vile, it’s vomit-inducing. My mission? To not be sick. Could I handle it?

If you don’t already know, Two Girls One Cup is a short video clip whereby two ladies are said to engage in some quasi-sexual activity on camera before doing something unspeakably rotten. Here’s how we got on watching it…

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How didn’t I not win?

I voted Lib Dem because I didn’t like Cameron, now my alleigance is rewarded with… David Cameron. That’s like a kid going to their headteacher to complain about a bully… only to see them both the next day necking in the playground together. Going at it. Non-stop. For five years.

So I thought I’d take on the PM aka the Cleggatron in the best way I could; not politically, intellectually or as a leader but by with some pointless rambling and a video I made…

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Forget meow-meow, I want woof-woof!

So I really like making noises and I think I’m quite good at them too. But it’s no use THINKING these things is there? You have to put them to the test, against the best! Or whoever’s willing…

I took on comedian, writer and uber popular youtuber Elise Harris in three rounds of mammalian imitation – is she a match for me?

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Let/make them eat Cake!

With my fundraising £167 short of my target I had to think of something good to raise the extra cash for the National Autistic Society. I had promsed £500. What would they do if they didn’t receive £500? Break my legs? Send me anthrax? Eat my dog?! I don’t have a dog, thank god. Since I have in the region of 10,000 people walk past my house on Arsenal match days, I decided what better than to run a cake sale.

What an idea! 10,000 people who are mainly portly (fat), well-built (fat) and physically robust (fat) men. They’ve had burgers, chips and beer – what they need is good old fashioned cake. An easy sell. A simple plan. It would turn out to be hard work which really isn’t my forte…

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Run Fat-Bob Run!

No Fletcher before me has done it. In fact, I don’t know anyone who has done it. I better do it then hadn’t I? No, I’m not talking about Mephadrone. I’m talking about a Marathon. 26.2 miles. Pretty hardcore right?

Especially for a chubby, lazy, biscuit fan like me. Could I do it? Train properly, get a charity, raise the money, send in all the forms, get to Brighton? Well you know what chuck? Let’s find out…

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Get out of my country?

The first election debate was on ITV1 earlier tonight. Clegg won. I found it quite interesting – though I did zone out in parts. They talked for a few minutes on Immigration which is a red hot topic in my household right now. My aussie housemate Jason has just been blocked from coming back into England after a trip to Sweden. Bloody crapola I know! We’ve had to re-rent the room out again. Very gay indeed.

In this blog I’ll be arguing that Immigration is totally or at least a bit wrong. What would I change if I were Prime Minister? Which I might be one day, but almost certainly won’t.  So – for the first time ever – I have something resembling an opinion on this complex and grown-up topic. And that opinion is…

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Am I more politically savvy than an 8 year old?

In yet another family focussed edition of Bob Versus I’ve taken on my 8 year old niece Charlotte at drawing. Realising that A: I’m not good at drawing and B: She’s good at drawing  - I challenged her with the topic ‘Politics’. With the Election coming up it seemed the ideal subject – and of course, she should have less understanding than me, ergo, level-playing field. Ergo… I can win.

So who will come out on top in this artistic contest? What can I learn along the way to up my game? Forget your electoral vote this year, this is the only ballot box you should be worrying about. Bob or Charlie? Who wins? Read on…

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Show me the Bunny! (of Easter)

Hello and a Happy Easter to you all. About a month or so ago my brother Andy challenged me to writing and recording an Easter song. Obviously I accepted. As anyone who has a sibling knows, you don’t turn down a challenge ever. EVER!

The idea came about when Andy noticed that whilst Christmas has oodles of pop songs in tribute, annual fights to be the “Christmas number one” as well as truck loads of biblical hymns there’s a baffling absence of Easter music. This had to be remedied and where better than at bobversus…

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Look… who’s talking?

I thought I’d try something new the other night at a stand-up gig. Ventriloquism!

Me and my mate Dana Wills, who is a jolly amusing stand-up, were chatting in Finsbury Park discussing how to be either A: Good or B: Different. Being good is going to take time so I thought I’d have a stab at option B. My first incling was to go on stage doing puppetry with a wig that cannot see, talk or hear. I spent the rest of the day making myself laugh hysterically talking to a wig. Am I insane?

Anyway, I changed my mind after my housemate pointed out “aren’t you going to run out of things to say since it can’t communicate?”. Good point. I might still do it at a later date. BUT Crap! What now? At the last minute – literally, I was due on stage in half an hour – I came up with a brand new idea for a puppet. Wanna see how I did?

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Are you Goo-Goo for Ga-Ga?

I know I only blogged t’other day but I couldn’t resist posting this. Lady Gaga - for anyone who has been in a coma for the last two years – is a global popstar, perhaps more famous for her peculiar fashion and bizarre performance set-pieces than her music.

I’ve been putting off deciding whether or not I like her. It feels like everyone has deferred making an opinion on this oddball pop icon. Now, I’m laying my cards on the table with a befitting tribute…

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